City of Pullman Announces New Canal Transit System – The Daily Evergreen

City Council issues statement that it has nothing to do with burst pipes

JARED GRACE

Boat and float sales skyrocketed after the announcement.

The Pullman City Council has announced the opening of a new public transportation system, the Pullman Canal Transit.

Every street in Pullman was flooded in order to make way for this brave new system, though some Pullman residents and WSU students can’t help but wonder if that was really the plan for the city the whole time.

History major Bryce Fairchild was hesitant to buy the new public transportation to get to his classes on campus.

“I’m not saying they couldn’t have done it, but it just seems a bit suspicious, that’s all. They just told us the water around those streets was not safe to drink,” Fairchild said. “Like a few weeks ago the pipes burst and now all of a sudden we finally have something to replace the buses? It sounds too good to be true.

Watch out Bryce… if the town hears you talking like that, the next pipe to fix will be under your dorm.

Not everyone is as paranoid about PCT as Fairchild, and many have embraced the new one with open arms, as well as pool floats.

In the warmer months it’s going to be great, just hop on an intertube and float to History 105, or straight to Walmart to get your groceries.

Don’t listen to engineering or physics students saying that’s “not how it would work” and “you wouldn’t be able to float up all those hills”. They obviously didn’t pay attention to the class, of course that’s how it works!

People who are afraid of this new change are simply not able to see its potential. Haven’t you always wanted to float down the main streets of Pullman or shower and go to class at the same time?

Some residents pointed to the recent pipe bursts as kind of evidence that this could be the start of a bigger problem and not the public infrastructure fix announced by the Pullman City Council.

Has anyone heard of testing? Clearly, the city wanted to make sure they could cut off a significant portion of traffic while also being incredibly inconvenient to residents, businesses, and school offices around said pipes.

Let me tell you, mission accomplished. I was even considering installing water wheels on my car to get to work. I’m sure nothing could go wrong if all the pipes were… intentionally… burst for the canals.

Also, I’ve always wanted to live on a beachfront property, but never thought I could in Pullman.

Unfortunately, the city’s canal project could come under scrutiny by state investigators after a report about the city’s plumbing and water system is released. The report states that the city started building its pipes from paper mache and “hope” after recent budget cuts.

Now, I’m not a civil engineer, but I would have thought that papier-mâché could have easily resisted rushing water. What’s next, will they say our roads are made of Nature Valley bars?

Although on reflection…

As I do the legwork for this potentially groundbreaking investigation, I urge all Pullman residents and WSU students to take advantage of the aqueduct, especially before the weather turns cold. Because Cougs floating down a tube seems a lot easier than ice skating in class.

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